People see your life through their filter… The lost “White Castle lover boy” dating story…😂🙃😕

(Above you see me through the Claredon filter) I’ve been looking for the right career job after a bad situation came to a halt last year. I’ve been doing temporary work since my severence and unemployment ended. Currently as of 4 weeks ago I started my very first job at a factory. It works because it’s easy as far as using my mental energy so I can focus on finding a career job. It’s not fun. Its very hard on my body but opens my eyes to what my listeners go through to earn a paycheck. 4 weeks ago I wanted to quit. There was no training. I was thrown on a machine and felt like the famous “I Love Lucy” chocolate factory scene where the converer belt moved too fast and she starts puting the chocolate in her bra and mouth to keep up! That was me  but with paper I couldn’t eat!  However,  I’ve never been a quitter. For some reason I felt it necessary for me to be there. Maybe it was to appreciate money. I earned every cent with hard ass labor. I’d come home and put my feet on a heating pad. I cried when a box of paper fell on the floor. I looked like I’ve been cutting myself from paper cuts up and down my arms. I’ve worked since I was 15. I have a work ethic thats strong and I’m proud of that work ethic. This is temporary but the strength I’ve mustered is forever.

I was disappointed when a family friend messaged me saying “I guess you didn’t tell your Grandma you quit the factory?” I QUIT!? NOONE TOLD ME. I said I’m still there. She then said “I thought you didn’t  like it? ” so that meant I’d hang up my factory work hat?  I also don’t like bills either  but I find a way to pay them. Then I realized she was viewing my situation through HER FILTER. apparently she’s had people in her life or possibly herself(I really don’t know)  quit when they didn’t like working somewhere before giving it a chance. I’m not a quitter. I’m a survivor. I need a simple job to get me to my next goal. It’s a means to an end not an end to a means.

I’m talent. To explain this to people is impossible because everyone sees my story through their filter.  Do you know how many times people suggest working at Walmart or going back to school for a more secure job?  More times than I want to count. I am talent and to compare on a larger scale,  I’m like an actress. Chrissy Metz from “this is us” had less than $100 when she was booked for her now career making moment. Like her I’m looking for a radio personality job based on talent which is subjective. Do they need a woman?  Do they need someone who’s bubbly(thats me)  Do they think my humor is funny?  Not everyone likes Ellen but it doesn’t make her less talented. It’s a tough bill and the jobs like roles in acting are scarce. If I have one more person ask if I can find a job in Indiana I will scream. It’s not how it works nor do I care. I want to go where the good creative nurturing fun radio station takes me. It’s a career. It’s not just a job. Radio is a passion. While radio doesn’t define me,  part of my heart is dedicated to radio. There’s nothing that gives me a high like making someone laugh or when a listener says you helped them lose weight by being real about your struggle through the medium Radio.

So I’m gonna stop caring about EVERYONE’S two cents because most of the time it isn’t worth two cents and I think many people actually owe me money. I also love the quote “only take someone’s opinion to heart if you’d trade places with them” Also people in your line of work give the best opinions because they get your career!

I once dated a guy whom I kinda knew I never really liked as much as one should when dating. However,  I enjoyed having company and he adored me which felt good. We dated casually and never even made it to the “in a relationship FB status” it lasted 2 months. I had moved and thought for sure that would end it but noooo. So I agreed to see him one last time in hopes maybe I’d feel the same for him as he did me because he was a really nice guy. He came for the weekend and by Saturday I wanted him to leave. I knew I just wasn’t in to him. He didn’t do anything wrong. I thought he’d for sure notice as I wasn’t “in the mood”. Well once again he saw our “relationship” from his perspective. As he was leaving I wished him safe travels and knowing he was excited to be close to a white castle I said “enjoy your white castles” as he walked toward his car. When he heard that, He stopped dead in his tracks. He started walking back towards my door with this Christmas Morning smile from ear to ear. Then he said “Did you say what I think you said!? ” puzzled  on why he was so excited I said “enjoy your white castles!? ” I then repeated “be safe and….enjoy your white castles…????”  he then,  sort of embarrassed said “oh… Nevermind. I thought you said something else” then it hit me like a ton of greasy white castles I  didn’t  want,  he thought I said the L WORD!!!! So apparently saying “enjoy your white castles” is I LOVE YOU!? I knew right then I’d have to break up this non relationship because he was stuck in his view and couldn’t see the signs I was giving!  BTW I waited til he was home safe and called. It was awful because he was stunned!  I was stunned he was stunned. We never even had sex!  I was blown away and now can’t ever eat white castles the same way. Its just terribly sad.🙃 spare yourself the grief and know people see their story like insta stories with they  own chosen filter. Maybe they’re Nashville and you’re a Gingham.





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